Ah Beng went to his doctor with two reddish ears. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, So kana lor!" "Oh dear!" The doctor exclaimed in disbelief."But ..... what happened to the other ear?" "That stoopid dumbo called back!" x x x x x x x x x x Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her. So there Ah Beng was, telling and bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend. "This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!" " Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian. "Somemore hor, this is Automatic one, very easy to drive!" So Ah Lian said,"Let me try! I wan, I wan!" So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator. The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post. "Alamak! Wat are u doing?!!! U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! ! ! Wah Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng. "Solilor, solilor, I thot hor ,"R" is for racing mah!" x x x x x Ah beng to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS?" Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..." Ah beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE. x x x x x Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support. Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me....