Have you heard about this man who took his mother-in-law to the zoo and
threw her into the crocodile pool. He is now being sued by the SPCA for
being cruel to the crocodiles.

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"My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street."
"Oh, thats terrible"
"Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly inconvulsions."

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Customer:	How much is that tie? 
Salesman:	Forty dollars. 
Customer:	Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that much money. 
Salesman:	But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck 

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Woman	:	You remind me of the sea. 
Man	:	Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? 
Woman	:	NO, because you make me sick 

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Mary	:	John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.  What do u
		think, Peter? 
Peter	:	Perhaps the combination of both Mary.
Mary	:	What does that means?
Peter	:	Pretty ugly 

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Sam	:	I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable
		seated. 
Lily	:	So what do you do? 
Sam	:	I close my eyes.