(Act 1)
Ah beng to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU
PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS
VEGAS?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

(Act 2)
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah beng''s left tells the
bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and his companion
says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Ah
beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."

(Act 3)
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he''d been working on for
quite sometime, Ah beng proudly shows off the finished
puzzle to a friend. It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah
beng brags. "FIVE MONTHS? THAT''S TOO LONG." the friend
exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL". Ah beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS.".

(Act 4)
Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition.
During the Q&A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that
begins with the letter ''G''." The crowd shouts,"Gin! Gin!".
Others exclaim, "No, its Grape Juice!" Another smart aleck
yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"
Host : "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying,
"C''mon man, you think I need their help? I got more
original answer, Gu ni!" (cow milk in hokkien)

(Act 5)
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it
when he encountered some problems. He decide to use
the ''Help'' command after some tries. Soon after, he become
very irritated and called the computer retailer for
support.
Ah Beng : "I pressed the ''F1'' key for help... but it''s been
over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me....

(Act 6)
In an English class: Teacher: "Class, do you know the
meaning of parents?" Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means
father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy''s parents means cowboy''s father and
mother. Also can say Cowboy''s father is Cow Pay & Cowboy''s
mother is Cow Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo
(KPKB)"
The teacher fainted.

(Act 7)
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor
asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered," I
was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of
picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"
Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But.. what happened to the other ear?"
That stoopid dumbo called back!"

(Act 8)
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 was not allowed.