MARRIAGE 

-Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You 
order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish
you had ordered that. 

-At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your 
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
the wrong man."

-Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. 

-Marriage is an instituition in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and 
the woman gets her master's. 

-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married 
?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

-Young Son : Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, the 
couples doesn't know each other until they get married?" 
Dad : "That happens in most countries, son. "

-Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until 
I got married; and then it was too late."

-A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the 
wife takes. 

-When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year 
married man looks happy - we wonder why. 

-In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the
second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they
both speak and the neighbours listen. 

-After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I 
married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and 
didn't notice it."

-It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up 
with the same boss. 

-When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one 
thing: either the car is new or the wife. 

-A woman was telling her friend, "It is me who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. 
The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."